When you met your man, you probably knew that he had some past. So why are you now wondering how to stop being jealous of his ex-wife?
Didn’t you love him the way he is now?
Of course, you do not want to share your loved one with anyone. This is an absolutely clear and natural desire.
But it is necessary to take into account the fact that even if you very much want what you had in his life you cannot change, therefore, to suffer from jealousy for a past life is just silly.
How to stop being jealous of your ex-wife — recommendations of a psychologist
To begin with, understand that if your husband cares for children from his first marriage and loves them, it only characterizes him as a reliable and responsible person. His children will always remain his children, while his former wife is a long-time stranger.
And he lives with you, not with her, which means that he believes that you are superior to her in some parameters.
And if you put pressure on him and restrict his freedom, everything may end up being disappointed in you and your relationship will collapse.
Do you want this result? Let him decide how much time he has to devote to his children.
This is absolutely normal.
You should not be worried about the fact that his ex-wife can sometimes call him and discuss some issues concerning joint children. Do not consider this an encroachment on his private life, and on the contrary, welcome the fact that he continues to take part in their life.
It should be so. Such a person can not be jealous, it can only be respected and proud of him.
Even if you have your own child, this can not put it higher than the children from the first marriage. Yes, of course, for you he is the most beloved, but your husband loves all his children equally.
And in that family there were also his children. Imagine how hard it would be for you if you were deprived of the opportunity to see your child.
So do you really want to hurt the person you love?
With the consent of his first wife, try to make your children make friends. In this way, your husband will be able to take his children to your family, and you will spend more time together without having to let him go to that woman.
It is possible that she will only be glad of this, because with this you will somewhat untie her hands, and she will be able to equip her own life.
And finally, to stop being jealous of his ex-wife, stop thinking about her, and try to better conform to the image of the woman he met and fell in love after her.
How to get rid of jealousy of the former — tips
He has been leaving his ex for several years now, but for you the relationship is still reminiscent of a tango in three. She went to another city, he erased her phone number, but now and then you come across evidence of her recent, as you think, presence in your life.
The old photo that was forgotten in his album, or the disks she donated, then he suddenly remembers her, trying to make a compliment to you. But the result is the opposite.
And the further his former beloved is fading into the past, the sharper is the question for you: how to get rid of your jealousy?
If it becomes clear that a spark of light jealousy no longer supports the flame of your love, but leads to destructive consequences, then it is time to take urgent measures.
Jealousy, as psychologists say, is the lot of the weak.
To stop being jealous of your husband’s ex-wife, try to overcome your weakness.
Men, unlike women, live in the future, not in the past, and are not inclined to remember former women. Of course, he unconsciously compares you with some of the former ones, but you shouldn’t dwell on it and, moreover, organize competitions with “ghosts” from the past.
However, if he remembers the former girl more often in your presence, you should watch his emotions. If he is indifferent and tells about the former part of his past life, do not be jealous.
If you notice melancholy, also do not hurry to suffer.
Think about what you attracted him to? What sets you apart from your girlfriend’s former girlfriend?
Perhaps a loved one is going through a difficult period in life. He has problems at work, and he involuntarily longs for the same carefree times.
Support him at this moment, and the ghost of past love will instantly dissolve.
A good solution to the problem of jealousy of the former, can be your new hobby.
It’s not about love on the side.
Try to focus all your attention not only on your loved one, there are many ways to have an interesting and creative time around.
Find a hobby, spend more time on your appearance and your health, your loved one will immediately notice how you have become prettier. Finally, just work harder.
Admit to yourself honestly that your jealousy is largely due to material dependence on a man and the fear of being left without means of subsistence.
To stop being jealous of your ex-wife, try to gain financial independence, or at least find a new source of income besides your chosen one. Your self-esteem will immediately go up, and your spouse will look at you with different eyes.
As soon as you are in demand at work or in a public organization, the need for you and your loved one will immediately increase. Now you will spend your free time together more often. And you will no longer have time and desire to remember the former and be jealous of her.
How to reject the ex-wife of her husband?
Life is a difficult thing and sometimes it happens that your husband’s ex-wife does not give you peace of mind, makes you jealous, constantly calls, threatens, puts forward various demands, blackmails the child and so on.
How to repel the ex-wife of her husband and return peace to the house? After all, this situation can even bring anyone to the white-hot.
Of course, this woman, of course, knows about the disagreement she brings into your family and acts quite consciously. It doesn’t matter from what considerations she is doing this — whether she wants to return her husband, suffering from jealousy, or simply she needs constant material assistance.
In any case, its permanent presence in your life is unacceptable, and if you show your negative attitude and scandals, it may lead to the collapse of your own marriage.
So, to stop being jealous, you should calmly talk to her if this succeeds. Try to find out exactly what she wants.
If she cherishes the hope that your husband will return to her, explain that this is impossible and should not waste her and your time in vain, but try to find her own happiness instead.
If she starts to speculate with their common child, tell them that you are not at all opposed to your husband talking to him and even willing to take him to him from time to time.
Perhaps this will give her more free time for herself and in order for her to arrange her own personal life.
If this does not help or she does not want to talk to you, it is not only useless to go to her and deal with the scandal, but also greatly hurt your relationship with your husband. Yes, and you will look in this situation is not the best way.
Maybe then you should talk to your husband and find out what he thinks about it. As a rule, men are also embarrassed by such an ambiguous situation and they feel their indirect blame for what is happening.
The best thing you can do to stop being jealous of your ex-wife is not to show that you are worried about her calls and her husband’s conversation with his ex-wife. The husband must feel that you trust him endlessly and are absolutely sure of him.
Even on the contrary, after he goes to her, you can ask if the child needs help or prepare a gift for the next visit.
If possible, give birth to your own baby.
This will strengthen your family and make your husband pay more attention to you and the child.
In addition, usually after a child appears in a new family, the former wives lose all hope of returning to their former relationship and stop bothering their husband with their calls.