Envy is a negative feeling that arises, as a rule, on the basis of its own complexes. A person feels inferiority in himself, reinforcing his insecurity with negative emotions: irritability, constant resentment, anger, etc. Why does this happen and how to stop being jealous and learn to appreciate what you have?
Why i envy
The reasons, as mentioned above, are quite simple and lie on the surface. The person, not wanting to notice his talents and capabilities, as well as make any efforts to achieve the goal, believes that everything around him is given without difficulty.
Such thinking leads to the fact that there is anger and envy. The feeling of jealousy is not always expressed openly, often it is hidden behind flattery and courtesy.
But if you realize that you are jealous and want to get rid of this negative feeling — you are already halfway to the goal.
To fight the disease, you need to know the causes of its occurrence. With envy things are also.
To stop being jealous, ask yourself a few questions, giving you the opportunity to understand exactly what causes this negative emotion in you.
- does satisfaction envy you
- what do you feel when you are jealous
- what you want to have from what others have and how much you really need it,
- what does success mean to you,
- how many times have you looked for opportunities or wondered how to make the most of your talents and abilities,
- Do you realize that you can control the flow of your thoughts?
How to overcome envy:
Having understood the reasons for his own envy, take the next step. If you want to stop being jealous when you catch yourself thinking that you are jealous, switch your thoughts to the fact that you are grateful to yourself and your destiny for what you already have.
Because often, having important life values: work, health, family, etc., people take it for granted and envy nonsense.
It is important to realize that each person is unique and surely you have your own abilities that can make you yourself the envy. Define life goals and priorities, dream and make plans, and then go forward, achieving your goals.
This will be a rational use of energy, and will lead you to the success that you are now so jealous of.
Do not try to compare yourself with others. People are different and live different fates, compare yourself with yourself, yesterday with today.
Who you were, what you achieved, what prospects await you. Find your way and follow your dreams, do not waste your time on envy, because it is fruitless and causes only negative.
You, like any other person, can do absolutely everything; you just need to correctly distribute the forces and learn to rejoice in everything that is.
How to stop envy other people
Envy, to one degree or another, is familiar to each of us. However, not everyone knows what it is, how to suppress the feeling of envy, and in general, whether or not to get rid of it.
On the one hand, envy greatly enhances our sensitivity to the assessment of others, develops self-esteem, increases regulation of behavior.
A jealous person learns to evaluate the consequences of his actions better than others can do for him.
Thus, envy is necessary to create rivalry between people in achieving goals.
On the other hand, envy actively destroys our life. It is accompanied by guilt, anxiety, fear, resentment and other negative feelings, makes people consider themselves unsuccessful and unlucky.
It gives rise to gloating and takes away vitality, and, the more energetic, more emotional and active a person is, the harder he experiences envy.
The main task set before each of us is to outgrow our negative feelings. However, not many people know how to stop being jealous. Meanwhile, it’s pretty easy to do.
Suffice it to learn a few simple rules.
Realize and accept the fact that you are gnawing at envy. It will be much easier to fight this unpleasant feeling when you openly admit to yourself that you are jealous of another person.
Try to understand what exactly is the object of your envy. After that, try to find an explanation why you yourself are not able to become the owner of what you envy.
Perhaps, another person puts much more effort to achieve his goals than you do? You will have to be honest with yourself.
Stop making parallels between yourself and those around you. Understand that a person who has achieved more in life than you will always be found.
It is much more effective to compare yourself with yourself. For example, if in a week, month or year you see significant changes for the better, it means that you are doing everything absolutely correctly.
If not, then you will need to continue active work on yourself.
To stop being jealous, try to diversify your life. Discover your hidden talents, take on something new and stop wasting your time and energy on useless, unpromising business.
So you not only have no time left to study other people’s lives and news, but all the reasons for envy of outside success will disappear, since you will have your own.
The main thing — do not forget that envy is, after all, a destructive feeling, and, in the first place, is self-destructive.
Only a person who has completely lost faith in himself, in his forces and in his life can wish another evil.
In the soul of a person who has managed to discover his own abilities and resources and become the creator of his personal life, there simply is no place for envy. Well, unless, for jealousy, and that, slightly.
How to learn to appreciate what you have
«What we have, we do not appreciate. If we lose, we cry.» Russian proverb
How often do we hear complaints about life! Do you know a lot of people who never complain about anything, are satisfied with everything and feel sincere gratitude for what they have?
Tell me honestly, hand on heart. What can be counted on the fingers?
Or I’m wrong?
So, it is these few — the happiest people in the world. Usually, those who have a lot are not happy.
The size of a bank account is in no way related to the ability to enjoy life. The ability to make money and the ability to live happily is not the same thing.
Otherwise there would not be so many unfortunate millionaires and millionaires in the world.
After all, as often happens: the more a person has, the more he wants to get out of life.
And there is no end to it.
The more you earn, the higher your inquiries, the more you need to be satisfied with your standard of living and with yourself.
And those who could learn to appreciate what you have are truly happy. And be grateful for that. And then, as a rule, this little grows and multiplies.
As the English proverb says, It’s not the rich who have many, but those who have few needs. Or, as Montaigne said, I expect no more from the world than he has already given me.
Much has been written about this, both by the classics and by our contemporaries. Once upon a time I heard a song, the words of which, apparently, deeply sunk into my soul, since I remember them to this day: Forty hours of happiness. Full, without cheating.
Forty hours of happiness. Is this not enough?
I do not remember the name of the composer, the author of the words, nor the performer Only these words.
And the following from the same song: It is only necessary that the heart does not wearily work over happiness. So that the heart is not lazy, arrogant.
So for every little it says thank you.
It seems to me that we would all be much happier if we would give at least a few minutes a day to thanksgiving.
To stop being jealous and learn to appreciate what you have, try:
- Start each morning with gratitude to God for a wonderful new day of life, which opens up new opportunities and horizons for you,
- end each day with gratitude not only for all the good that he brought to us, but also for the difficulties and trials sent to us, because it is they who make us think about the main thing, change for the better and move forward,
- learn to feel gratitude for the simplest things that we often do not appreciate and take for granted:
- for the sun in the clear sky
- for the cheerful chirping of birds in the early morning,
- for the smiles and warmth of family and friends,
- for the occasional pleasant meetings,
- for the unexpected call of an old friend.
If you want to learn to stop being jealous, take a piece of paper and try to make a list of what you can appreciate in your life, what you value and what you would not want to lose, which you would not give for a million dollars.
And then you will understand: you have great wealth.
You have many things to be grateful for.
So grasp the art of gratitude. The eighteenth commandment: instead of complaining about what you don’t have or lack you, learn to appreciate what you already have. If you don’t appreciate what you have, you can lose it.
And then there will be nothing left but to bite your elbows and cry.