There are situations when you can not hesitate. If you have mental discomfort, you need to quickly remove it, until it captures you completely and poisoned your life for a long time. In such cases, depending on where you are now and how much time you have, you need to deal with sadness so that it does not become depressed.
This article will tell you how to stop being sad and start enjoying life again.
How to stop being sad and start enjoying life
If something oppresses you and grieves, if something prevents you from enjoying life, first of all stop for a moment and ask yourself the question: What is my problem compared to Eternity? Try to imagine your problem in this perspective, against the background of infinite space and time.
Look at it first from a bird’s eye view, then from a height of 10,000 kilometers, as if from the window of a flying plane, then look at it from space, as if flying over the Earth in a spaceship, and finally moving farther and farther from Earth into infinity, first of our galaxy, and then of the whole vast universe.
It is possible that when you do this, the cause of your anxiety or anger will seem to you so tiny and unserious, so unworthy of your attention, and even less of your experiences and nerves spent, that you simply throw it out of your head and go further in life. Fun and happy.
Leaving these little troubles behind, behind the board of your life ship. As they say, out of sight — out of mind.
And you will sigh with relief and tell your problems: «Goodbye forever. Good riddance. I don’t want to see you again.»
A friend of mine taught me this technique many years ago.
This is a very simple and effective way to stop feeling sad, to deal with sadness and to realize how little and insignificant is what you are experiencing so much at the moment and what you spend your precious nerves on. As William James said, God can forgive us our sins, but the nervous system — never.
Even if, as they say now, the nerve cells are still being restored, it is still a pity to waste them over nothing.
Or do you disagree with me?
Draining emotions as a less sad way
Call a psychotherapist (if you have one) or a close friend or girlfriend, that is, a person whom you trust completely. Sometimes we just need to talk.
Pour out your soul. It is very harmful for our mental health to keep our fears and problems in ourselves.
And getting rid of and getting rid of them is much easier by voicing them. However, there are cases when it is easier to tell something very intimate and painful to someone who is not close, but, on the contrary, to a complete stranger.
For example, a random fellow traveler in a train or on a plane. Such improvised confessions do not oblige anyone to anything: they talked and went off in different directions, and each went further in life on his own way.
But they are very helpful to those who need to talk and remove the stone from the heart.
Go to church for confession or just talk to a priest, or even better — with your spiritual mentor (if you have one). Previously, having your own confessor was the norm.
In our time it is a great rarity.
It’s a pity! After all, each of us, even self-sufficient and independent, sometimes needs the good advice of a wise mentor.
To stop feeling sad, analyze if you have a grievance stone in your soul. If you want to yell at someone or slander the filth that you will surely regret afterwards.
As soon as this wave rolls on you and lumps towards your throat, take a very deep breath, hold your breath and count at least to ten. Then exhale very slowly.
Repeat this at least three times. If you have time to do this before the anger has completely taken hold of you and begins to spill out, most likely, the severity of the moment will pass. And then an angry tirade will not overwhelm anyone’s unhappy and, quite possibly, innocent head.
It is important to suppress anger at the very beginning. In the very first moment of its inception.
It has the ability to grow like a snowball rolling down a mountain. The word for the word.
Prosecution — for the prosecution. Further more.
The farther, the harder it is to stop this growing ball, which threatens to turn into a real avalanche, sweeping away everything and everyone in its path.
If you decide to fight with sadness and defeat it, remember that anger is dangerous because it obscures our mind like no other emotion. As Montaigne said, no passion obscures as much clarity of judgment as anger.
Of course, you need to strive to control yourself and your emotions.
But, on the other hand, it is very harmful and even dangerous for health to keep them in oneself all the time and to save them indefinitely. From time to time it is simply necessary to throw out the accumulated negative emotions and to get rid of them. Only do it preferably without harming others.
There are different ways to let off steam.
You can swear at the water. Just open the tap and spill all your anger.
A jet of water will carry it away with you, and you will wash up and feel a great relief.
Another way to vent anger and aggression without harming others: beat a pillow or a punching bag. At the same time, you can imagine that in front of you the very person who is an annoying factor for you, wakes the beast in you and acts on you like a red rag on a bull in a Spanish bullfight.
Beat her with all your might until you feel that it has become easier for you, that you have discharged. This is a sure sign that you have rid yourself of the anger that has accumulated in you and, at least for some time, you can live in peace.
Do you want to stop feeling sad? Then you can do intensive exercises, run a few kilometers (or at least walk this distance at a fast pace), swim in the pool, play a game of tennis or do yoga.
Any physical activity helps relieve stress, dissolve anger and make it evaporate (literally and figuratively).
If you need to get rid of irritation and relieve fatigue, if you need to relax and if you have at least half an hour for this, take a warm bath or shower. It is advisable to wash your hair.
Water will take with it all the negative, and in addition a headache.
If, on the contrary, you want to get out of the state of apathy and cheer up, it is better to take a contrast or cold (at least cool) shower. And even better — pour cold water, decisively splashing it on top of your head.
It will shake you up and bring you out of your sleepy stupor.
Why you shouldn’t be sad: exercises and techniques
If you are an unpleasant person in front of you, for example, the so-called emotional vampire, and you know that he feeds on your energy, you only have to give in to his provocations and get out of yourself, try the next trick.
Imagine what separates you from this man a wall of water, That you are surrounded on all sides by a powerful waterfall. You see him through the water column, but he cannot do you any harm, no matter what he says or whatever he does, since you are reliably protected from him.
If you are at home and you feel on the verge of collapse. drop everything and close in your room. Ask the family to not bother you at least twenty minutes.
And even better — until you yourself are ready to go out to them.
To stop feeling sad, hang a sign on the door «Please do not disturb», lie down and try to relax. If you have autogenic training or are able to meditate, do this or that.
By the way, 20 minutes of daily exercises with autogenic training or meditation contribute to the preservation of peace and tranquility in the family.
I think that twenty minutes a day is not a very expensive price for your peace of mind, as well as harmony in relations with family and friends. What do you think?
As a rule, it is they who get the most. We rarely fall for strangers and unfamiliar people or for the boss and colleagues.
With them, we, as a rule, even with the last strength, but keep ourselves in hand. Everything usually goes to our dearest and loved ones. And this is wrong.
This should not be.
If you feel sad, reading a good book can help. As one of the possible options I can recommend wonderful books with wonderful pictures of Bradley Trevor Mane. Thumbing through her and looking at funny photos of animals, it is simply impossible not to smile and not stop being depressed.
If you are a believer, the Bible, the Quran or another sacred text (depending on your religion) can help overcome depression.
Listen to your favorite music, it will help to stop feeling sad. Many women are well helped by the sounds of nature: the sound of rain, the splash of the sea surf, the singing of birds.
Classical music is also a win-win. Music has tremendous spiritual power.
This is one of the best ways to restore peace of mind and balance.
Once we conducted an experiment and observed the miraculous properties of classical music in action. We had a colleague who, because of sheer trifle, could have caused a real scandal and got out of himself so much that he couldn’t come back for a very long time.
One fine morning we turned on classical music in the office, and she quietly and unobtrusively played almost all day. And this is what we noticed: on this day, even our emotionally unbalanced colleague was with everyone unusually sweet and courteous, never raised his voice to anyone, slammed the door and threw a single object.
He was simply not recognized. We could hardly believe our eyes and ears. It was a vivid and clear evidence of the beneficial effect of music on the human psyche.
By the way, music therapy is effectively used in medicine for the treatment of stress and depression. I myself once tried it on myself when I was in the process of divorcing my first husband.
And I must say that the result was amazing!
To stop being sad, watch a good comedy at the cinema or on video or go to the concert of your favorite comedian. This is an uplifting mood.
How to actively deal with sadness
Many are positively affected by a walk in the fresh air and communication with nature. It relieves stress and pacifies.
Especially if you manage to touch Mother Nature — in the truest sense of the word: — walk barefoot through the morning dew, water, grass or earth, — hug a birch tree, which takes away negative energy and charges us positive.
However, one should be careful, because some trees, such as aspen, are a kind of tree vampires, have the opposite effect on people and can cause discomfort and headache.
Bad health, irritation, fatigue and even pain can relieve your home friend.
Sometimes, in order to stop feeling sad, get rid of stress and tension, it is enough to pet the cat or play with the dog.
They miraculously liberate us from. every negative and charge with positive energy, lift our spirits and fill our head with positive thoughts, and the heart — with joy.
Take care of your favorite thing, a hobby. This will help to shift your attention and relieve tension and irritation.
Start creating something with your own hands or with your head — depending on what you do better. Use your gray matter and imagination.
The main thing is to do it creatively and with pleasure. For me, for example, one of the best ways to relieve stress is to tackle my favorite flowers: dig in the ground at a dacha or tinker with houseplants at home.
How to ground yourself so that all negative charge goes to the ground.
When we come to the village and I suddenly disappear somewhere, my family knows where I can be found: among the rose bushes, on an alpine slide or in a Japanese garden — rockeries.
Generally, if we are not busy with anything, we just sit and be sad, then we are at great risk of falling into melancholy.
If you decide to stop feeling sad, you want to fight with sadness and conquer it, be busy. Even the ancient Greek doctors knew that work was one of the best medicines for diseased nerves, and, moreover, was the cheapest.
Bernard Shaw believed that the secret of our misfortunes is that we have too much leisure to ponder whether we are happy or not.
When we are busy with something, we do not have time for anxiety, fear and other negative emotions that fill our consciousness if it is not occupied by anything else. On the one hand, nature does not tolerate emptiness, but on the other hand, it is a law of psychology that a person cannot think of two things at the same time.
Therefore, we ourselves can choose how to fill our thoughts, how to become full-fledged mistresses of our consciousness. After all, the quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our life.
As the Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius said many centuries ago, a man is not what he thinks of himself, he is exactly what he thinks.
Try not to bring yourself to the verge of a nervous breakdown. Well, if you really turned up there after all, urgently take action. You already know what.
Do not wait for outside help. Remember: everything is in your hands, because the salvation of a drowning man is the work of the drowning man himself.
So use magic wands and do not let yourself sink in the quagmire of blues and in the swamp of stress!