According to surveys of psychologists, 48% of women suffer from excessive conflicts and dishonest manipulations on the part of colleagues and management. There is a special category of people who are pleased to click on the secret springs of the soul of those around them.
Truly manipulators are great puppeteers. It is they who pull us by the strings like dolls, and we only obey their will.
But manipulators are not a secret sect possessing secret knowledge about the thoughts and hearts of men. Moreover, in life we ourselves often act, consciously or unconsciously, as manipulators.
There are people who love to pull the strings and control the behavior of people for their own purposes. How to find a manipulator and protect against it?
Just do not panic!
Let’s try to figure out what the manipulator could play on, what key to choose for your soul? Many people compare the manipulative effect with the tingling of the strings of a guitar, or a harp, or a violin, as you like.
You can manipulate by pinching one or another string. Think about what strings your personal villain could play, because only you have complete information about yourself beloved.
Four hand game
How the manipulator can «pinch» these strings? It is very easy to determine this by observing your household or passengers inside the bus.
The acts of manipulation may be short, but the essence will remain the same. So, imagine a crowded bus. The phrase: «Man, what are you sitting!
So healthy, and you can not give way to an old woman. Are you disabled or something?
Or just stand up weakly and show yourself as a normal man? «This type of manipulation is called“ pinch from below ”or“ take on poorly. ”The same bus, the text looks different:“ Man, you can immediately see that you are a decent person and give place to an old woman . You are so courageous, and what kind of biceps you have, any bodybuilder will envy! «Such a manipulation is called a» pinch on top «- a higher-level technique designed to exaggerate a person’s virtues, tickling his sense of significance.
Just do not confuse this with the banal compliments and flattery. «Pinch on top» makes a person play the role that is currently beneficial to the manipulator.
The manipulator emphasizes its importance, which the victim is forced to confirm with every word and action. Here are a few phrases that are often used by office «friends» and colleagues:
«You are such a professional, you will carry out top-level negotiations! The G-8 is resting!»
«You are so well organized, I’m sure you will take the time for this little project.»
As you can see, here the manipulator with might and main pinched strings on top. But if you are ambitious, then you probably will work «tweak from the bottom.» The manipulator needs to unbalance you, and it can knock the prop out from under its feet with the following phrases:
«It seems that you were instructed to develop a nuclear bomb, and not to print three phrases».
«A five-year-old child understands a computer today! Only our» clever «Tanya still can’t figure out where the key is!»
What techniques do manipulators use? The most «visible» — compliments and flattery, blackmail and aggression.
The more subtle ones are the attachment of authority to one’s own opinion (the general director believes that.).
Ostensibly the random phrase: «Oh, burst out, just do not tell anyone,» is designed for the fact that you swallow the bait and use false information.
Remember a few general rules of response if you feel a manipulative effect.
Emotional reaction. If you feel that the game is going on and you are trying to manipulate you, turn to your mind and ask yourself: “How do I feel?
Is he trying to manipulate? I wonder what he got at me? I feel that on the string of guilt, yeah, got my dear! «
Deep breathing — just breathe in the stomach.
Funny formulas. Remember a few phrases that you can repeat in your mind, looking at how the manipulator tries:
«Why don’t you go to the zoo right away? Tbi wouldn’t stand out there very much.»
You should have put your brains on trial for a long time for not helping you at all. «
«A minute ago, I did not know you, and it was a beautiful moment in my life.»
Technician and manipulation techniques are many. There are several types of skilled manipulators.
If the manipulations remain undetected, it threatens the development of events in a negative scenario.
The manipulator is convinced of the effectiveness of its scheme, and therefore continues to use it.
But now we are armed and we know what to do!